First of all, this post would be unnecessary if only some people could differ work from personal life. But because they can’t, I have to express my anger in some way so that it doesn’t rot inside me, causing cancer or any other terrible diseases. So here I go.

With work, it should be easy, when we make a mistake, we apologize, get forgiven (or not), then we move on. That’s it. There’s no need to take time to heal the wound before we can forgive or be forgiven by the other party. It is that simple.

On the other hand, when we’re in personal life situation, it may take a while before we can forgive somebody. Why?? Because, it involves feeling, heart, people get hurt. We (or they) might not want to see them for a while because it hurts when we look at them, the people we love, doing awful things, disappointing us in ways we never expected them to do, ever.

Therefore I really hate it when people mix up their work and their personal life. It makes everything a lot more complicated. I made a mistake at college, but I am sure it is not that big that it is unforgivable. So I don’t think my expectation of forgiveness is too much. I am sure this other party, this person I somehow “hurt” would actually accept my apology and we can move on. But… this is not what I’m getting, and it sucks. I realized it wasn’t right, what I did was disappointing and it brought shame to myself, and maybe to this person, if she actually cared. But please…. Let’s be professional, move on already! It’s not like I’m messing with her heart.. And just so you know, my guilty feeling is doing a very good job punishing me, I don’t think any academic punishment is necessary. Besides, this can make me hate that person for a while, which is also a feeling I’m trying to avoid, hatred is bad.

Then of course, there’s another possible version to this story, the one where the other party is not willing to forgive, the one that I don’t want to think of because I just think it’s stupid and unrealistic.

Well whichever version is actually being played in my life right now, I don’t like them both.

And the fact that I’m writing this on my blog..

O God, I think I’m mixing up my college and personal life! Oh nooo!!

P.S guilty feeling lasts longer when u’r not forgiven