for one unimportant reason, i must post something now.. anything.. so i’m thinking now.. i’ll write about my thesis proposal! haha a typical post of UKP’s communication science student working on a thing named KOLOKIUM.

i used to think (and sometimes i still do) that thesis is no big deal. it’s just like any other assignment we get at school or uni, except it’s bigger. big isn’t bad or scary or anything, it’s just an assignment at a larger scale, and most people can get it done, so why worry? i told my boyfriend that when he was doing his thesis.

last semester i started my proposal. i’ve always wanted to write a thesis on something that i actually care about, something i like, something i have passion for. and i was sure then to write about XXI (the second brand for multiplex in Indo, still owned by the 21 group). for whatever reason, i decided not to take take the examination. and that time, it felt like i was at the very bottom of my academic life and thinking about my thesis actually made me feel nauseous (oh how do u spell this??).

so this semester, i have to retake the kolokium class. (some) new classmates, new spirit! i have to work harder this time.. less WhereToLooking, more Kolokium-ing. can’t graduate in 4 years? 4.5 isn’t so bad.. 🙂 but i have to make sure that i get it right, hopefully at once!

and i am so thankful now, that even though i changed my topic, i managed to still find passion in something else! i love my new topic.. DANONE AQUA’s CSR SATU UNTUK SEPULUH.



This post is dedicated to my beloved boyfriend, who unfortunately, doesn’t read my blog.

I think I’m starting to get my monthly pms. The hormones are doing their thing, causing me to become very moody in general, but easily (and most of the time) angry to Teddy. You poor thing, I don’t mean most of the things that I say during these times.

Please know that I always feel bad after each conversation we had where I just become this evil girlfriend for no reason.

And please also know that after each one of those I always realize how much you love me by letting me get away with my evil attitude, and still be understanding, and never yelled at me.

And last, I want you to also know that the love u have proven through all your actions have made me love you more.

Thanks for loving me!

Thanks for loving me!

So for all the guys out there, please be understanding when your woman gets all angry at certain times each month, just don’t make a big deal out of it. And girls, whenever u can, think before u speak, sometimes it’s better to just shut up and sleep.

OK I’ll shut up now, but not sleep. Bye.

Today is the day..

I managed to get my indosatm2 to work, yes I did! I’m just glad that I decided to give it one more try before getting into the car and start that long drive to Galeri Indosat. The review? Hmm.. not exactly fast connection. According to some friends on facebook, the speed varies in different areas, depending on how good the signal is, and the 3.5G factor, which I still don’t understand.

That’s the first thing, but the more important event that took place today is the inauguration of our new governor, Soekarwo, and his vice governor, Syaifullah Yusuf (pardon me for any miss-spelling). After 2.5 round of election, KarSa won, beating KaJi by some very small number. To be honest, I didn’t participate in any of the votings. Part of me didn’t know who to vote for, but that’s not the reason, I didn’t vote because I was unable to. The first round I was participating in ISBS (Sampoerna’s program for university students), the second round I was on my way from Jakarta to Semarang, and the third round.. needless to say, it was held only in Madura. But I keep up with the stories, and here are some of the interesting parts.

After the second round, the election got a little bit difficult and troubled. KaJi, who was quite surprisingly defeated by KarSa in the last minutes, demanded another round of voting because they were sure that somebody played the number of votes to the advantage of KarSa. And so there was the Madura re-voting (this was the result of a long trial). Weeks and billions of rupiah later, KarSa won again, by a thin line. As predicted, KaJi came back to the court of constitution, ready with data to proof that there were manipulations in the number of votes and voters. But this time the court would not let anything interfere with the results. It was official then, KarSa was the future governer for East Java, but this doesn’t mean that KaJi accept that. Even until today, 12 February 2009, the day of the inauguration, KaJi still claims that they are the actual winners (based on their paid spot on today’s Jawa Pos). There are absolutely no words of congratulations or signs of consents coming from them to the new governor. I guess KaJi just made themselves the opposition party now, and that’s normal in democracy.

However, I really don’t know which to believe, is KarSa’s victory a product of democracy, or is it a result of manipulation? Need I make it clear, I’m not on anyone’s side, again, I didn’t vote. But I do want my governor to be someone that is truly elected by the people (at least the people who vote), someone who really cares about the province and capable to lead us to face the upcoming 5 years with pride. That’s my concern.

What about you? What do you think??

Happy New Year People!!! I know, it is 8 Jan, so what? I’m just a week late to say it.. 🙂

New year, new positive spirit, and hopefully it will last through the whole year!

As u should know (if u’r my friends), the last few weeks of 2008 wasn’t exactly the best for me, so I’m really glad that 2009 is finally here, it gives me the reason to believe that there will be changes..

Speaking of which, I learnt in this past few weeks that change is not a dot, it is rather a line.. U can’t really say that starting from tomorrow, I will exercise everyday, or starting tonight, I will pray before I sleep.. It’s just not that easy, it takes time and process.. Just take that first step, then enjoy the ups and downs, don’t expect too much from urself.. 

So if u have that new year resolution, that list of changes u must all make this year, don’t just stare at it and wonder when u want to make the move, but start it as soon as possible! Next week, tomorrow, or even right now, if it can be done! Coz u won’t succeed at once, remember it’s not a dot, it’s a line, it may even be a wavy one.. It doesn’t matter how much ups and downs u go through, just make sure the line ends where it’s supposed to..

First of all, this post would be unnecessary if only some people could differ work from personal life. But because they can’t, I have to express my anger in some way so that it doesn’t rot inside me, causing cancer or any other terrible diseases. So here I go.

With work, it should be easy, when we make a mistake, we apologize, get forgiven (or not), then we move on. That’s it. There’s no need to take time to heal the wound before we can forgive or be forgiven by the other party. It is that simple.

On the other hand, when we’re in personal life situation, it may take a while before we can forgive somebody. Why?? Because, it involves feeling, heart, people get hurt. We (or they) might not want to see them for a while because it hurts when we look at them, the people we love, doing awful things, disappointing us in ways we never expected them to do, ever.

Therefore I really hate it when people mix up their work and their personal life. It makes everything a lot more complicated. I made a mistake at college, but I am sure it is not that big that it is unforgivable. So I don’t think my expectation of forgiveness is too much. I am sure this other party, this person I somehow “hurt” would actually accept my apology and we can move on. But… this is not what I’m getting, and it sucks. I realized it wasn’t right, what I did was disappointing and it brought shame to myself, and maybe to this person, if she actually cared. But please…. Let’s be professional, move on already! It’s not like I’m messing with her heart.. And just so you know, my guilty feeling is doing a very good job punishing me, I don’t think any academic punishment is necessary. Besides, this can make me hate that person for a while, which is also a feeling I’m trying to avoid, hatred is bad.

Then of course, there’s another possible version to this story, the one where the other party is not willing to forgive, the one that I don’t want to think of because I just think it’s stupid and unrealistic.

Well whichever version is actually being played in my life right now, I don’t like them both.

And the fact that I’m writing this on my blog..

O God, I think I’m mixing up my college and personal life! Oh nooo!!

P.S guilty feeling lasts longer when u’r not forgiven

Hello world.. how r u doin?

Even though we do get more rain these days, but the sun still rises every morning, and that’s a good thing people, something we should be grateful about..

As for me, my days have been cloudy, very cloudy, for the past 2 weeks or so. It’s not always a storm or a heavy rain, but it is never a bright sun-shining day either.. I’ve just been in the cloudy days.. It feels terrible, the kind of feeling that makes u feel like stayin in bed, under ur comfiest blanket so u don’t have to face the world..

And yesterday, I made a decision about my thesis, I’M NOT HANDING IT IN. That means, my 7 semester resolution whateva thing can’t be accomplished. MISSION FAILED, I FAILED.

Not having classes nor assignments for 3 months, I turned my laid-back mode on, and obviously I forgot to switch back to my studying mode. Despite being depressed of this failure and having a great tendency to drown myself, I have to be able to get back up.

This semester wasn’t a great one for my study, so what? I still have the next, my chance to do better, to be myself again and focus. I wanna get rid of the clouds, I wanna see the sun again, my sun, my hope.

Wish u all bright sun-shining days!!

Hmm.. One very good title Tansil, well done! 🙂

What does it refer to though? My current ecstasy, the one thing that keeps me excited all day long, issss…


(how can i make the font bigger??)

Haha.. it is my brand new, one and only, online shop!!!

Well, whatever u’r thinking, I was thinking “I’m not sure if I have what it takes to run a shop!!”

I tried selling stuff a couple of times in the past, and they turned out to be not profitable..

But this time, it’s different!! I am going to make some moneyyy, yeah baby! (it’s the ecstasy talking)

Or at least, i can turn my own stuff into money, yes i mean second-hands..

So u should all visit that site, just click!!

Here’s a sneak peak for u 🙂

Pretty bracelet for a shoe addict

Pretty bracelet for a shoe addict

Key-chain or bag accesories?

Key-chain or bag accesories?

So, in case u’r wondering, where’s the panic for thesis and internship reports, they are still there. I am supposed to be busyy, super busy, writing a report and a thesis, i guess thats kinda why i need the ecstasy!

And i guess i should apologize to this blog, i havent been a good writer, i’m loving my shop more than this blog, which is not a good thing, cause i still have to keep practicing!! Blog, I still love you..! I hope u can forgive me..